Chapter 4: what Linda did

What did Linda do? I ask.

Linda used the system to her advantage, says ‘Cock legs’. She didn’t fight against it, or let it grind her down; she waited and then took advantage. You should ask her about it.

She’s not here, I say. What do you know about it?

‘Cock legs’ begins to paw at the ground again, scratching his toes against the block paving, circling and bobbing around the designated smoking area in small, jerky movements. All the time he talks about Linda, about holiday owed, inalienable rights, Thailand, length of service, something about accrual, rollover, Gothenburg, bonuses, career breaks, Ace of Base, assertiveness and being cooped up.

I understand less than 22% of what ‘Cock legs’ is talking about.

So what do I do? I say.

‘Cock legs’ stops and half-crouches: his movements have resulted in all the loose cigarette ends being collected into a low mound. He lets out a screech and springs up onto one of the black bollards that line the edge of the paving.

Ask the Turtle. She can’t deny you. It’s in the regulations.

Thanks, I say.

"Anytime", says ‘Cock legs’, wobbling on his perch.

I check the time. It is 11.51 am.

I’m late.