After afternoon tea break I hide the cudgel in the storeroom. I don’t want it anymore. I don’t like the questions. Or the hitting. I return to the shop floor and consult the clipboard. Denis and Emily are working hard to keep the fresh produce replenished. Bananas are very popular today. A middle-aged man in supermarket uniform approaches. He is the same height as me, with close-cropped grey hair. His name badge has ‘FREDDIE’ printed on it.
Hello, Freddie. My name’s _____; I’ll be supervising your first day. Have you had your induction?
Ja ja, says Freddie. I am fully inducted in your supermarket.
Right. Let’s start in the storeroom, shall we?
I show Freddie where the trolleys are kept. I point out the tower of bananas, the tower of apples and the tower of peaches. I show him where the ladder is kept for fetching crates from the tops of the towers. Freddie scampers around, collecting the ladder and fetching crates of bananas from the top of the tower. On the shop floor his nimble hands quickly replenish the banana display and then he returns to the storeroom to fetch more produce. I find it hard to keep up.
Freddie carries crates of apples down from the tower two at a time. The towers are seriously diminished. I tick the majority of boxes on the supervision sheet.
Good work, Freddie, I say as he wrests two more crates of apples from the tower.
Tack, says Freddie. It is good to work, no?
I guess. You seem to have got the hang of things; I’ll leave you to it.
No problem, he says and wheels his trolley of apples away at top speed.
I leaf through the sheets on the clipboard, adding a few ticks that I missed. I sign my name at the bottom of each sheet: _____ ______, underlining my signature with a flourish. I go to the Turtle’s office and knock on the door.
There is no answer.
I open the door and peer in.
There is no one there. I enter and put the forms in the ‘IN’ tray. I look around the desk. There are letters addressed to the Turtle, memoranda and an empty chocolate bar wrapper. The Turtle’s chair is pulled back from the desk. It looks inviting. I sit in the chair. I spin around in a circle, and spin around again in the opposite direction. I pull the lever that adjusts the height of the chair and sink to the floor. I pull the lever again and the chair rises up to its full height. I lean back in the chair and rest my feet on the desk. I pick up a bottle of correction fluid and loosen the lid, releasing the chemical smell. I sit up properly, feeling slightly foolish. On the desk is a brown cardboard folder I had not noticed previously. There is a name on it: _____ ______.
Curious, I reach out for the folder.
There is a noise from the corridor as someone approaches.
Hello, Freddie. My name’s _____; I’ll be supervising your first day. Have you had your induction?
Ja ja, says Freddie. I am fully inducted in your supermarket.
Right. Let’s start in the storeroom, shall we?
I show Freddie where the trolleys are kept. I point out the tower of bananas, the tower of apples and the tower of peaches. I show him where the ladder is kept for fetching crates from the tops of the towers. Freddie scampers around, collecting the ladder and fetching crates of bananas from the top of the tower. On the shop floor his nimble hands quickly replenish the banana display and then he returns to the storeroom to fetch more produce. I find it hard to keep up.
Freddie carries crates of apples down from the tower two at a time. The towers are seriously diminished. I tick the majority of boxes on the supervision sheet.
Good work, Freddie, I say as he wrests two more crates of apples from the tower.
Tack, says Freddie. It is good to work, no?
I guess. You seem to have got the hang of things; I’ll leave you to it.
No problem, he says and wheels his trolley of apples away at top speed.
I leaf through the sheets on the clipboard, adding a few ticks that I missed. I sign my name at the bottom of each sheet: _____ ______, underlining my signature with a flourish. I go to the Turtle’s office and knock on the door.
There is no answer.
I open the door and peer in.
There is no one there. I enter and put the forms in the ‘IN’ tray. I look around the desk. There are letters addressed to the Turtle, memoranda and an empty chocolate bar wrapper. The Turtle’s chair is pulled back from the desk. It looks inviting. I sit in the chair. I spin around in a circle, and spin around again in the opposite direction. I pull the lever that adjusts the height of the chair and sink to the floor. I pull the lever again and the chair rises up to its full height. I lean back in the chair and rest my feet on the desk. I pick up a bottle of correction fluid and loosen the lid, releasing the chemical smell. I sit up properly, feeling slightly foolish. On the desk is a brown cardboard folder I had not noticed previously. There is a name on it: _____ ______.
Curious, I reach out for the folder.
There is a noise from the corridor as someone approaches.
Hello, my name is Jack Sparrow. I'm a 50 year old self-employed Pirate from the Caribbean.
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